Feeling adventurous? In this witty and well-informed consumer guide, best-selling author and sex educator Violet Blue shows couples how to choose and use sex toys to play and explore together — and have mind-blowing sex. She leads readers through the maze of sex toys on the market, explaining the many options available, including different materials, care and cleaning, and how to see through exaggerated marketing claims. Along the way Violet offers tips on creative usage and ideas for introducing sex toys to a relationship: how to ask your boyfriend to use the blindfold in your bedside drawer or how to surprise your wife with a saucy gift without getting your face slapped (unless that was the point). The Adventurous Couple’s Guide to Sex Toys takes a practical, sex-positive approach to pleasure, with plenty of safety advice and a list of websites for savvy online shopping. But why stop with the basics? Care to enact a threesome fantasy with two people? Set up the sexiest lighting for a webcam show? Dream of owning a steel cage dining table for captivating dinner parties? From the tried-and-true to the truly spectacular, you’ll find it here in The Adventurous Couple’s Guide. But when it comes to talking with adults, I could talk about sex toys for days. I mean, there's a reason Sex Toy parties are a thing. Once you get past the awkwardness, it's just fun. And maybe it's the company I keep, but every girls night ends up on the topic at some point. But there's good reason to dish about what you like! After all, pleasure, alone or with a partner is one of the best ways to de-stress, relax, and connect. (Who doesn't need as much of that as possible right now?) And while you don't necessarily need an object to make it enjoyable, the addition of a vibrator or sex toy definitely ups the ante.
It's time to get raunchy and rampant, with this new no-holds-barred guide to sex toys! Perhaps you've always been curious and want to find out more, or if you think you're already an expert, Ann Summers' Raunchy and Rampant is the definitive book on sex toys, full of saucy ideas to spice up your play-time. Whether you want to know more about your and your partner's bodies, the joy of the joystick and the power of electric love, you'll find out about all the fun you can have with your flexible friends. There's advice on choosing the best toys for you, and the most exciting ways to use them in the bedroom - or anywhere else for that matter! Plus with 40 sizzling and red-hot photographs, you'll get all the inspiration you need, whether you're straight, gay, single or in a relationship. Your sex life just got a whole lot more fun...
Whether you’re perusing the aisles and displays at a store or scrolling online, shopping for a sex toy can be a little overwhelming. We’re here to help with this beginners guide. Bringing a sex toy into the bedroom isn’t something you reserve only for steamy nights with your significant other. Sex toys open women up to a range of sensations that you just can’t experience with your hands or with a partner. As well as offering pleasure and fun, sex toys can provide an array of health benefits. Studies conducted at Indiana University in the USA found that 53% of women and 45% of men aged between 18-65 years had used a vibrator, and that vibrator use is associated with improved sexual function and being more proactive about sexual health. For women, sex toys can be helpful in the treatment of menopausal symptoms such as vulval/vaginal pain and tightness. For men, there are a number of sexual problems that may be helped by using specific sex toys. These include erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, lack of libido, and post-surgical problems for a variety of conditions. Using sex toys to enhance sexual pleasure and orgasm can help you to sleep, boost immunity, relieve pain, reduce stress, and boost your brainpower. For men and women, one benefit of introducing sex toys into the dynamic is to open up a dialogue about healthy sex and what they enjoy as individuals and a couple.
Similar to experiencing new sex positions, it may be something you haven’t tried before due to embarrassment or fear of purchasing items, but you may find that your sex health benefits from this new openness. Here is a guide to help you choose healthy sex toys: Dildos A dildo is anything vaguely phallic-shaped, that’s designed to penetrate a vagina, mouth, or anus. Standard dildos: They most resemble biological penises in shape and function. Our pick: Lynx Textured dildos: Changing the material the dildo is made out of to vary the sensation. Our pick: Pure Love Double-ended dildos: Depending on the shape, double-ended dildos allow you to experiment with double penetration either in the same hole or in different holes, for a sense of fullness. Our pick: Lynx Vibrators A vibrator is a vibrating tool used for external and internal sexual stimulation, whether by penetration or application to various erogenous zones. It comes in many shapes and sizes.
Sexy Real Sex DollsExternal Vibrators Palm vibrator: designed to cover the vulva and stimulate your labia and clit. Our pick: Svakom Panty vibrator: clip into your panties for hands-free clitoral stimulation. Our pick: Pelepas Wand vibrator: have a bulbous head that’s designed to deliver super intense, rumbly vibrations anywhere on the body. Our pick: Pure Love Finger vibrator: slide onto or sit between two digits so you can bring your hands between your legs to enjoy the vibration. Our pick: Paloqueth Bullet vibrator: provide buzzy, low-intensity vibration to your bits. They fit inside most harnesses to give the strap-on wearer stimulus. Our pick: Phanxy Vibrating penis ring: slide over the penis and offer stimulation to the scrotum or a partner’s clit during penetration. Our pick: loverbeby Penis vibrator: designed specifically to fit over, or encase, the penis with vibration. Our pick: Alllovers Internal Vibrators G-spot vibrator – The G-spot is a nerve-dense pleasure zone located 2 inches inside along the front vaginal wall. G-spot vibrators are ergonomically designed to stimulate this zone. Our pick: Phanxy
Egg vibrator: Slightly larger than a bullet vibrator, egg vibes are designed to be inserted vaginally for internal stimulation. Also comes on a stick for beginners. Our pick: Phanxy Anal vibrator: Any vibrator with a flared base qualifies as an anal vibrator. The most common are vibrating butt plugs. Our pick: Paloqueth Combination Vibrator A combination of internal and external vibrators. Rabbit vibrators – the most common type of combination vibrator feature a curled nub for G-spot stimulation and an external nub for clitoral stimulation. Our pick: Paloqueth Alternative Sex Toys Blindfold – by removing one sense, your other senses become much more heightened. Feather teaser, oils, and scents – provides gentle touch and sensation across the body, great after impact play on sensitive areas. Our pick: Romantic Getaway Kit
Sex furniture – designed to help you and your partner get in more comfortable positions during positions you already love — or want to try but can’t due to physical limitation. Our pick: Sex Pillow Wedge What’s The Best Sex Toy? It all comes down to knowing what you like and finding a toy that helps you do it. Or, knowing what you like, and finding a toy that gives you a little extra-extra while you’re doing it! So, before you hand over your credit card, spend some time getting down with yourself and learning what you like. WHY IS IT SO HARD TO BREAK A CYCLE OF DEBT? Toys: fun! Sex: usually great! But put those words together and you run the gamut of reactions from clueless blank looks to passionate enthusiasm to terrified images of spikes in places where there should NOT be sharp objects. But as millions of people know, there is very little to fear and a lot of fun to be had. Half of women who use sex toys purchased their first toy in their 20s, which as you may notice, is the age of most Literally, Darling readers. Therefore, it is my journalistic duty as Health Editor to report on such important matters, because I know in the age of online review overload, there are lots of questions. Adam & Eve, the nation’s largest marketer of adult products, has offered up a great infographic as starting point—and reassurance that sex toys are quite common (and have been around for 28,000 years!). They also granted us access to their resident sexpert, Dr. Kat (yes, she actually has a PhD in Human Sexuality/Clinical Sexology from the Institute for the Advanced Study of Human Sexuality), to answer some of LD’s most pressing questions about sex toys.
Nude Sex DollsWhat should beginners look for in a sex toy? Dr. Kat: “Think about how you masturbate and what stimulation feels the best. Clitoral, vaginal, G-Spot, anal? Then begin looking at toy categories that target these areas. Read reviews. There can be a wide variety of power options and intensities. Some people prefer stronger vibration so they may want to choose a vibrator that plugs in; others might like indirect or mild stimulation. Choose a rechargeable vibe if you don’t want to deal with batteries. Many better products have USB options. Avoid plug ins if you don’t like wires.” What kind of price range should we be looking at to be sure we get something high quality (like, is the material of an $8 vibrator eventually going to give me cancer or something)? Dr. Kat: “Although research has been inconclusive on the direct relationship between sex toy material and cancer, it is assumed that there are materials that are more body friendly than others. Silicone, glass and certain metals are considered higher quality [If you have sensitive skin, you probably want to shop in this category]. Granted, some people don’t mind using lower grade plastic sex toys as they will probably not be coming into continued contact with the vaginal membranes—you won’t be wearing it all day. Lower priced toys may be a good way to initially figure out what stimulation works well for you; then you can upgrade later on. If you want to start with quality, there are plenty of mid-range products ($25-45) that can meet your needs.”
Do you have any lube advice? Dr. Kat: “Use lube! Lubricant makes everything more slippery, and will undoubtedly make any sex toy experience more enjoyable. A toy that feels too big or vibrates too strongly might feel just right with the addition of a little lube. The main thing to remember is to test it on your skin to be sure you don’t have any reactions to it, preferably on the inside of your wrist versus the sensitive skin in your vagina. Although water based lubes seem to do the trick for most people, make sure that if you are sensitive that there are no additives like dyes, colors or alcohol. You can also go organic if you prefer. Be aware that some oils and silicone lubes may make some sex toy materials break down, especially if they aren’t cleaned properly.” Speaking of, can you tell them more about keeping toys clean—especially keeping in mind most of us have roommates? Dr. Kat: “Keep a good anti-bacterial soap near your sink. There are also specialty toy cleaners on the market. You can use condoms on your toys if they are easier to dispose of versus clean. If your bathroom isn’t en suite, keep a small clean towel to wrap your used toy in to take it to and from the bathroom for cleaning. Air drying toys tends to be best, but if you don’t feel comfortable keeping them out in your room, make sure you dry them completely (every nook and cranny) with a clean towel.
Store them in a cool, dark and dry location. Make sure you don’t allow your toys to touch in storage. Sometimes the materials may interact with one another and cause them to break down. There are even anti-bacterial bags and incognito storage units designed specifically for this purpose. Take the batteries out if you don’t use your toys regularly. Batteries can corrode, ruining your toy. Also, don’t forget that you can transfer certain STIs via unclean sex toys. Try not to share them with your partner unless you use a condom or wash them thoroughly. Never transfer your sex toy from your anus directly into your vagina as this may cause an infection.” Do vaginal toys interfere with an IUD at all? Dr. Kat: “Typically vaginal toys do not cause any issues with IUDs. However, if for some reason your IUD wasn’t placed properly or dislodges, I could see how there might be an issue. Also, if you are more prone to infections, make sure you keep your toys very clean so that additional pathogens don’t make their way up the string.” When and how should beginners incorporate sex toys into a relationship? Dr. Kat: “You may not want to break out your vibe the first time you have sex with someone, but I do suggest that you introduce your partner to it within the first few times you have sex. This way, they’ll know that you already incorporate the use of a toy and may be less intimidated by it. If you wait too long, you run the risk of your partner thinking you are hiding it from them. Plus you will potentially miss the opportunity to be more orgasmic.
There’s never a bad time to invest in a little extra self-care. These are some of our favorite sex toys, vibrators, smart vibrators, personal wand massagers, and accessories, all of which we’ve personally tested. There’s something here for everyone, every gender, and every body. The language on these products isn’t always gender-inclusive, but we approached testing with a gender-inclusive mindset, testing these with a variety of different genitals, bodies, and partners. Still don't see anything you like? Be sure to check out our other bedroom-related guides on the Best Sounds for Sleep, the Best Mattresses, and the Best Sound Machines. Updated May 2022: We added the Lelo Enigma, Coconu Lube, added a section on erogenous zones, removed the Lora DiCarlo Ose 2, Fun Factory Laya II, and adjusted prices. Special offer for Gear readers: Get a 1-year subscription to WIRED for $5 ($25 off). This includes unlimited access to WIRED.com and our print magazine (if you'd like). Subscriptions help fund the work we do every day.
If you buy something using links in our stories, we may earn a commission. This helps support our journalism. Learn more. Please also consider subscribing to WIRED Image may contain Screen Electronics Projection Screen and White Board Which Toys Are For My Body? Beyond P & V The sex tech industry has conditioned us to think of toys in terms of male and female, penis and vagina, but that’s reductive, inaccurate, and contributes to a larger narrative about the relationship between genitals and gender. It’s unhelpful and I have a lot of feelings about it. To that end, we opt to be as specific as possible and use anatomical terms to describe individual erogenous zones—and there are way more than just P and V. The vulva is the exterior part of the vagina. It includes the labia majora, labia minora, the urethra, and the clitoris. The clitoris is the center of erogenous nerves in the vulva, and it’s actually much larger than just the exterior portion. Its internal structures extend down to either side of the vagina, which is where you’ll find the G-spot—the area stimulated by toys that curve toward the front of your body.
The phallus is what’s commonly referred to as the shaft of the penis, and it includes a couple different erogenous zones. The glans is the top of the phallus, usually referred to as the “head,” and the frenulum is a thin strip of connective tissue on the underside of the glans that can be particularly sensitive to targeted stimulation. Last but not least, the anus is, well … it's the butthole. The rectum is the interior portion that attaches to the anus. Both of these areas can be sensitive to internal and external stimulation. For people assigned male at birth, there’s an additional erogenous zone here: the prostate or P-spot. This is a walnut-sized gland that lives between the internal structures of the penis and the rectum, and it can be reached by toys that curve toward the front of your body. sex toy PHOTOGRAPH: MAUDE Best Vibrator Maude Drop This tiny little vibrator packs a punch. It might be the most intense palm-sized vibrator we’ve ever tested. It has only three intensity settings, which is fewer than most toys on this list, but for the Maude Drop, it’s about quality over quantity. Each of its levels provides deep stimulating vibrations, but if you’re particularly sensitive you may want to be careful with the highest setting. It’s rumbly, powerful, and fast, which can be a nice way to end a session of solo use. It’s a great vibrator if you’re looking for something simple, discreet, and approachable.
Great for travel, solo use, and all genitals $49 AT MAUDE $49 AT SEPHORA Dame Com Wand Vibrator PHOTOGRAPH: DAME Best Wand Dame Com Wand Vibrator Dame's take on the classic magic wand (8/10, WIRED Recommends) introduces a new angle on an old favorite—literally. Most wands are straight, and nothing on the human body is straight, so using them to reach your most sensitive areas can be pretty awkward. The Com offers an elegant solution. The wand handle is angled ergonomically so the toy does all the reaching for you. Plus, at $125 it’s cheaper than a lot of premium wireless magic wands. The battery life could use some work though; you’ll only get about an hour out of a single charge. Great for diffuse stimulation to the vulva, phallus, or sore muscles $125 AT DAME PRODUCTS
Thin VibratorTRENDING NOW Doctor Answers Gut Questions From Twitter Most Popular GEAR The 12 Best Electric Bikes for Every Kind of Ride ADRIENNE SO GEAR The Best Laptop Backpacks for Work (and Life) MEDEA GIORDANO GEAR The Best Fitness Trackers and Watches for Everyone ADRIENNE SO Sony Xperia 1 IV phones GEAR Sony’s Xperia 1 IV Is a Nice Android Phone With an Absurd Price
ADAM SPEIGHT Image may contain Trophy PHOTOGRAPH: TENGA Best Stroker Toy Tenga Crysta Leaf I'm not a fan of sleeve-type toys. Most of the time they feel weird and awkward to use, even alone. But Tenga's Crysta Leaf changed my mind. This is the first sleeve or stroker toy that I actually want to use again and again. It’s made of a squishy and incredibly stretchy elastomer material, and when you’re using it you can still feel your (or someone else’s) hand applying pressure throughout the toy. It’s a very tactile experience, and if you’ve ever been turned off by hard plastic sleeves and strokers in the past, you might want to check this one out. You’ll need to get a high-quality water-based lube, though, and keep the toy clean. It attracts dust and cat hair like nobody’s business. Great for phalluses $35 AT AMAZON $38 AT TENGA PHOTOGRAPH: LOVABILITY Spice Up Your Baths
Lovability WaterSlyde Ok, this thing looks pretty unusual. It’s a long plastic slide that ties to the underside of your bathtub’s spout and diverts water directly to your most intimate areas. Inspired by the common practice of laying underneath the spout with your legs up in order to stimulate your genitals, which can be awkward and super uncomfy, the WaterSlyde makes it much much easier to have a little extra fun at bath time. And it’s good no matter what genitals you have. It can be a bit of a novel experience for people with penises, but it’s still super fun. Also it’s very affordable, durable, and makes baths a little spicier. $28 AT LOVABILITY PHOTOGRAPH: CRAVE Discreet and Stylish Crave Vesper Vibrator Sex toys are often relegated to closets, drawers, and hidden places to keep them away from prying eyes. Keep it secret, keep it safe; Gandalf knew what he was talking about. This toy is something different, though. It’s a thing you wear, not hide—like the Evenstar. The Vesper, from Crave, is a slender, powerful vibrator that pulls double duty as a bold statement necklace.
Black Penis ExtenderEven if you don’t wear it out and about, it’s a remarkably capable little vibe. It has just two vibration modes (steady and pulse), but it is shockingly powerful for such a tiny thing, and it is whisper quiet. The pointed shape makes it a good choice for targeted stimulation, and it’s powerful enough that you’ll feel its vibrations deep in your body. Don’t put it in your body though. Vesper is strictly an external-use-only kind of toy. It’s bold and discreet, stylish and subtle. But above all, it’s a functional addition to anyone’s collection. Great for targeted stimulation on the clitoris, nipples, or frenulum $69 AT UNCOMMON GOODS $69 AT CRAVE Most Popular GEAR The 12 Best Electric Bikes for Every Kind of Ride ADRIENNE SO GEAR The Best Laptop Backpacks for Work (and Life)
MEDEA GIORDANO GEAR The Best Fitness Trackers and Watches for Everyone ADRIENNE SO Sony Xperia 1 IV phones GEAR Sony’s Xperia 1 IV Is a Nice Android Phone With an Absurd Price ADAM SPEIGHT PHOTOGRAPH: DAME Pocket-Sized and Approachable Dame Pom Flexible Vibrator Just look at this little thing! It's cute and friendly. Pom is one of my favorites from Dame Products (8/10, WIRED Recommends) and is a pocket-sized, waterproof vibrator with five vibration patterns, five intensity settings, and a soft squishy body meant to contour to a wide variety of erogenous zones. The vibrations resonate throughout the toy, but they’re concentrated at the tip. So you get targeted and broader stimulation all in one toy. Experimenting with the intensities, vibration modes, and even just how you touch it to your (or someone else’s) body can be a lot of fun.
Pom’s intuitive, ergonomic shape also makes it really easy to use in the heat of the moment. The button layout is simple and straightforward. You can easily feel which button is which without looking (a huge plus), so you can rapidly switch between modes and intensities. $95 AT AMAZON $95 AT DAME PHOTOGRAPH: TENGA Cute and Cuddly Tenga Iroha Kushi This thing is so cute. I love a sex toy that can double as adorable home decor. The Iroha+ Kushi is shaped like a little hedgehog and features multiple vibration intensities and patterns (plus a charging base and cover to protect it from dust). It’s made from silicone and has a gel underneath, so it’s very soft and squishy. The ridges along its back allow for fun and varied sensations, regardless of the genitals you’re using it with. It’s a unique approach to sex toy design, and I’m a big fan. This little guy has a forever home on my nightstand.
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